It’s the word I have been given to guide me through my latest handshake tasks. Whilst I’d prefer a kinder word, something more inspiring, it’s been an accurate synopsis of my progress. The task is to take an alternative material, for me, tire inner tubes, and explore its limitations and possibilities.
I have discovered many limitations; they can’t be heated, (due to the toxic fumes), you can’t stretch them, or shrink them and the only real way to join them is with super glue. (I just managed to separate my fingers to type this post). The tubes have resisted almost all of my advances and it’s been a struggle not to email Estela to ask if I could please choose a friendlier material.
Continuing with my inquiry after I had discovered how much I didn’t like the material is where I found the real learning. I’ve had to resist the persistent question, “Where is this going?” I’ve become aware of how ruthless my inner critic really is, the constant internal dialogue that blocks my way and tells me I must fast-forward to an elegant solution. Of course, I want to make good work, to make something beautiful, and to be sharing work that I’m proud of. But I can see that innovation and progress come from silencing our critics and leaning into the struggle. This creates space for something new. The challenge is to find joy in the process, not to critique it and stifle the exploration before it has a chance to go somewhere.