Starting the Year off on a Musical Note

Cor blimey what a roller coaster this one has been.

Song writing: These words come to mind…

Cathartic

Intense

Exposing 

Vulnerable

Enriching

Expelling

An owning of fears

An evolving discussion 

I’ve finally had the guts to add music to my practice.  It such a big part of who I am, and this year I wanted to bring my whole self to the party.  I’d really missed the process of music creation over the last couple of years, there simply hasn’t been time for it.  

However, currently (and wonderfully) I am unemployed, with the luxury of a couple of months off (over summer) between jobs.  It does not suck.  Sooo, I’ve indulged in some musical madness….and I don’t say that lightly, having the song hook in my head for a couple of weeks, on repeat, feels a little like loosing the plot.

It’s been cool though, and has really helped me process what I’m feeling about the situation. I think its interesting where the track has gone.  When I started, all I knew was that I wanted it to start in the womb.  The seed for this was planted watching Neke Moa’s artist talk at the at Nelson, Jewellery Week last year.  She started her creation story “In the beginning….” And it was like a gong going off in my head.

After that, I wondered what sounds I would’ve heard in the womb, so asked Mum if she used to sing to me and what were her favourite songs.  I confess, she didn’t know I’d recorded that part of the conversation (she does now)…but I wanted to capture something real and raw.  Mum couldn’t get past the first verse without crying, lost in the beautiful memory of that time.  I know I am blessed to have had so much unconditional love in my life.  I guess that’s what makes alzheimers such a challenging disease – it’s common for personalities to change, often they become overly emotional, aggressive and nasty….but we’re not there now, so I’m not borrowing trouble.

Another key part to version1 of the song is the heartbeat.  The beat is carried on from the womb section and heart-beats are added at different points instead of a bass drum.

Lyrically, I had part of the first verse written – my phone notes are clogged with bits of poetry and lyrics…most of them will never see the light of day.  The rest evolved from there.  Music is like any creative process for me, I just chip away, taking things as far as I can in one session, then seeing what needs refining in the next.  The act of making, evolves ideas.  The same is to be said for the lyric.  I started out afraid, and a bit angry but the process helped me find acceptance and a little hope.  I began researching to see if there were any tips on how to get through as a carer, how to keep loving and supporting through what’s to come.

This song is capturing the present moment….

Mum is doing great, still living independently despite her diagnosis about 7 years ago.  She has a good community around her at the local church and plays an active role in her retirement village, utilising previous nursing and medical secretary experience to write letters for people (usually complaining to the council or the housing trust:-) and helping patch up the residents.

…but, we both noticed a decline last year.  Things could get real pretty quick from here…and that thought can be overwhelming at times.  I dearly hope we can hold on to the love, laughter and joy through what’s to come.

Below is a link to version one, it was mainly about getting the lyrics and vibe together on a headphone mix.  Now I need to find someone with better production skills that mine in to polish up the production and musicality (first stop my Brother:-)…. but you are welcome to have listen.

LINK: DEMO_Version 1.  I Still Hope, By Rachael Chapman