Mouth Stone 2021
I intended to post more of past work from the “Under the bed“ series, however, I got waylaid with some fantastic mentoring sessions and discussions with Iris. These interactions have resulted in my work turning a corner into something I never thought would be created…
‘old work, no, I think you are done with your ancestors for a while, I want you to make new work for your future ancestors, go and create something amazing for your children’s children. I want you to make an heirloom a month for your children and gift it to them. No one will need to see them other than you and your family. It’s the simple act of unconditional love”…”but at the same time work with your own hair too, you’re in good company, work with it”…
Mouth Stone on cord 2021
Iris wants me to investigate the golden orb of silence between the giver and the receiver receiving the gift; the silence between an answer and a question…the mouth stone was my investigation into silence while working the blanket. Apparently (I read somewhere) women making lace in Bulgaria would place a stone in their mouths to stop them from talking, thus concentrating on the dexterous task at hand. Just having it in my mouth was interesting, clicking against the enamel of my teeth, with the string it was on; on one hand dangerous, yet tethered for safety. Taking the string away opened up many dangerous and potential life-threatening possibilities. One of my ancestors (sorry Iris) in the 1600’s was drowned for suspected witchcraft in Cambridge, UK. She was a lace maker and was drowned by placing a mill stone on top of her. I visited the site when I was 6, up till then I loved water and splashing around; after that I had night terrors about it and found bodies of water – small or large – terrifying.
Recently I have taken up free diving at our local swimming pool to try and overcome this fear of water. I have had 7 sessions so far, and can now hold my breath in a static (holding onto the side while being timed) for 2 minutes 2 seconds…small electrical shocks go up your fingers and arms then legs as the capillaries of your veins start to take the blood to your vital organs; your lungs heave and go through contractions as the Co2 builds up in your system, you just want to breathe and remove your head from the water to get rid of the Co2 and embrace the delicious nurturing oxygen. It becomes a knife edge game of cat and mouse in your mind; how long can I keep going for? I’m suspended in a porous boundary between two worlds! How long can I control these contractions and ignore the gnawing hunger in my body for oxygen…never are you in any danger as your dive buddy next to you is looking for signs of trouble, and tells you your time, but even so it’s me, myself and I; I fight! Exploring this process and the fine line of something so vital in one’s own body takes my mind into a strange stillness and silence; I find memories I have forgotten. I’m 4 year old and I’m running through my Great Aunts garden outside Vicenza in Italy; it’s a lazy hot summer evening and the tall grass has been mown into paths for me to play and run around in, the smell of the lavender, roses and rosemary is intense. The light is golden and magical, like the sweet wine I was allowed to sip at dinner out of a tiny dainty crystal sherry glass; small insects and dragonflies dance, float, and hum above me. I can touch them; one sits on my dress like a delicious brooch, its dark delicate legs pierce through the cotton and dig into my soft young tummy. I look down feeling slightly upset that the dragonfly is hurting me…then darkness…my heart rate rises, I need to breathe NOW! But I stay down, and stick my tummy out to allow my lungs to contract and react with more space…the dragonfly flies away… I am now in a space which allows that silence to ring out; a chance to explore the dark recesses of the subconscious, and what, and who really matters in life. My children and my unconditional love for them always pulls me back to the surface!
June 2021 Still image from film Exhale, Fran Leitch in Kawakawa Pool. Photographer/Film Coach Gemma O’Brian
Our master classes with the energetic and magnetic enthusiasm of Estela Saez have been challenging, revealing, thought provoking and exciting. Estela has showed us how we can make movies of our work’s essences by simple means, to be shown at some stage on our blogs or through a HS outlet (Ok I over buttered the parsnips for a while and worried about my films being too rough and not slick enough…but they are grass roots, now I understand!!) . One of the movies we made had an underwater theme…inhale is what I called my work…exhale has just been recorded in the pool by my Free dive coach Gemma. Loaded down with weights, face up so you see the lights above the pool and the amazing patterns that appear, you exhale air rings (like smoke rings); I have the luxury of coming up after…Yes I can make new work not discussing my ancestors; however, as I have stated before in previous blogs “they are at my back every day I work” and now while I play!
Collecting bags 2021
Some of the objects I have made will not be seen physically by my children for some years; I have made collecting bags, filled with their baby teeth, first haircuts and clippings of my nails from when I was pregnant with them…Both together on a cellular level; one informing the others’ growth and future. I am making rugs for them out of their baby clothes, my maternity clothes, and dressing gowns I wore after having them. I had dreadful postnatal depression after my oldest was born, but when I’m cutting up the strips of fabric I don’t see the sadness of the past, I see the pride and love I have for my two boys, I see glimpses of them as grown men, strong and handsome, sitting with me drinking in the same golden nectar as I tasted when I was 4 years old…however it’s school holidays; that could change…little rascals!!! x