The following is an unpublished journal excerpt from 2015 when I was studying for my Graduate Diploma through Whitireia NZ
Reflecting on a walk-about
It’s mid-summer, and I’m walking through the Mt. Vic greenbelt as the sun is going down and the moon rising, darkness creeps into the forest. Both a wondrous experience and also one that sets my nerves jumping as I walk alone through this ‘other worldliness’.
Being of the Magpie mind, the forest floor (as it usually does) throws up something to catch my eye; a T-shaped twig, sturdy and weathered. I’m drawn to it, so pick it up and find that it fits in my hand in a way that I can hold it as if I were holding a set of keys between my fingers in a precaution of self-defence.
I become aware of the effect of holding this object as it serves in some way to assure my ego that I feel I have gained a little more control over my environment, I feel a little more protected and somewhat armed against this feeling of being under some kind of perceived threat or attack that the illusions of darkness can create in the mind.
This conversation taking place in my head leads me to think about my interest in the relationship between object & ego; and how we use materialistic ‘props’ in our everyday lives in order to support, protect, communicate and be in the world.
I think back to my early teens and my need to ensconce myself in a robe/ dressing gown every time I had to walk past a “spooky” bit on the path outside leading up to the main part of my family house from the downstairs part where my bedroom was as there was no internal stairwell. And sure, perhaps I had an exceptionally overactive imagination but the point that interests me is not the relevance of truth to this “spooky, strange presence”, but the fact that I relied on engaging with adornment to provide a sense of protection to get me through this experience.
I have also before written about the relevance of gumboots to me. Another early childhood-related experience that was born from visits to my Gran mother’s farm. She had a collection of dusty gumboots you would have to bang together to make sure they were free of big spiders. Once you found a decent enough fit my siblings and I would take off adventuring out into the fields. Without any adults, we would rely on each other for moral support to explore the old abandoned eerie farm stables and cottages feeling rather intrepid, curious and brave as the whistling winds would whisper in our ears.
Feeling the protection of rubber around my feet and legs provided some sense of power and invincibility- “Nothing can touch me”. Wearing gumboots allowed us to venture further than we would have in sneakers. Without feeling the discomfort of resulting effects if we had been in other footwear; in gumboots, we could forge small rivers, and boggy marsh areas and cut through long grass, the effect of which a satisfying cutting sound and the earthy toasty smell rising to our nostrils with this disturbance.
When I reflect in this way, it now seems obvious why from a young age I was drawn to body adornment. Beginning with an interest in fashion design which saw me at age 4 creating slinky dresses for my Barbies from the old pantyhose that my aunt would send me, through to learning to sew at age 5 and proceeding with these talents in my teens and early 20’s, and now at age 30 my transition to another form of body adornment; my studies in the field of contemporary jewellery.
But there’s a part of me that is in turmoil with this inclination towards adornment. I don’t want to be consumed by material things, material things can become clutter and weigh down your life and are unnecessary to the function of life!? I don’t need to have the newest most trendy things yet I appreciate good aesthetics and style, the ability of an individual to adorn/decorate themselves as a form of expression, but the idea that these things matter more than life itself is not my agenda.
A good teacher once said to me “Just remember: people are more important than things.” I think in order to find peace I need to keep this reminder in balance during stressful times during a creative project and also be reminded of the comments of those who support what I do and the belief that “Art saves lives”. Creating meaningful work is a way to give back to the world, providing joyful moments and the chance for people to engage and see things from a different perspective. Perhaps I need to learn that beauty isn’t always so fickle and self-involved. It is also capable of bringing peace and harmony. Beauty is also subjective. My idea of beauty might be someone else’s ugly. Stop worrying, just make! My mantra perhaps needs to be “You have the right to create”.
So, with this understanding of the perceived need of the ego to be supported by the act of engaging with material objects; it makes sense that we clothe ourselves and attach jewellery to our bodies; that we drive cars and some of us feel the need to have the latest tech gadget or accessory. We use these things as an aid in affirming our identity and vulnerable ego, enabling us to present ourselves confidently to the world in a way that we feel comfortable so that we can find a way to feel like we belong yet also stand out within the crowd.
For me, I see that it is unavoidable to encounter the (mainstream/common) perception of jewellery being understood to be purely decorative, and for sure I agree that the aesthetic component to any jewellery piece is important, as it has its place in endearing and motivating the viewer to want to wear it on their body, to represent some part of themselves, but for me, decoration is not contemporary jewellery’s main function or purpose.
It is more the intention of bringing materials into form to manifest an idea which communicates its own identity, its own reason for being in which we (the audience) then discover that we can identify with (or not) the resulting jewellery piece.