Finding Fire

As it goes sometimes, I’ve been finding it challenging to connect to my creative pathway this year. It has been like trying to
find the signposts at the start of the walking track, only to realize there are none, and what awaits me is a sickle and the realization that the only way forward is through.

I don’t know what’s in front of me, I have to trust my intuition to cut through blind but seeing, finding my momentum as the rhythm builds, the unfamiliar, creating reason, still fed on adrenalin. It is an adventure into the unknown after all.

This undertaking has had me stand still, overwhelmed at times and momentarily paralyzed as I feel time ticking on, my mind blank with panic. But there’s always something there, lying in wait, perhaps the pressure can only force it out. Once I start traveling inward, there eventually becomes clues, signs that echo the whispers of thoughts I couldn’t grasp but only feel. These are confirmed by what resonates afterward when I take those clues back to ground with my eyes open.

I’ve no idea if any of it will mean anything to anyone else, or if it really even matters, for it is me working to make sense of
something deeper, a part of existence that is always questioning and has a memory of some kind of old way running like an undercurrent, only concerned with dark and light, honoring those spaces between.

Whether I can do any of this justice, finding the fire to bring it to being through my making, I can only do and hope. (Fac Et spera)*

*Matheson clan family motto.